I had an interview for a permanent position where I work around a week and a half ago. I have to be honest and say I don’t have a lot of confidence, and I think that shows. Also once I am confronted with authority or a panel (as I will always have to in my position) I crumble. They ask things I know, but at the time it’s worded in a way I have to think about what they really want from me.
Needless to say I didn’t do very well in my interview. I had a panel of three, and they asked very broad questions which made me wonder what they wanted to know. As usual I thought of all the big things and none of the really basic things. I was prompted with things I should have known and lets face it, I really should have just prepared better.
So today I went to see the manager of that department and she told me I didn’t get the position, however she was really good about it and explained why, she also suggested someone at work who I could approach for help for future interviews.
Anyway, I went back to the department I currently work in and had a chat to my manager. She was really great, and had been understanding when I said I had applied for this other position. She has offered me 12 months and feels confident that in that time I could pick up something permanent. In the meantime I work in a place I’m really happy in, and I have guaranteed work for 12 months, and some security.
However, in the meantime I will have to work on selling myself. And maybe building some self confidence. That is the worst and hardest part of self development, I am happy to do all the education or study they need from me, but I can never talk myself up. This is something I will really have to work on, or maybe get some coaching on. I love my job, and would hate to think something that should be so simple could ruin future opportunities.
Having said that, I don’t know now if I feel saddened that I never got that job, or relieved I can stay where I am. I love the staff in both places, but I prefer the work where I am. And as some of my colleagues said to me tonight, maybe it’s meant to be this way. Who knows, maybe my future is in surgical nursing.