Sometimes you just have to do things even when you just don’t want to. Tonight I was having one of those nights. I was flat out at work, we work in teams of two, but the person I was working with felt she needed to run everything she did by me (fair enough I’m responsible for her, but it was very detailed), plus her priorities and mine were somewhat different. So while she did the routine things, I did everything else, dealt with things as they came up and at the end of the shift we somehow came together and… I think, everything was finished. Needless to say I was left running around like a headless chook for most of the shift.
I knew I had netball on this afternoon and I already told the team I would be there so I didn’t want to let them down, and I knew I had promised my partner I’d cook dinner as he cooked last night. So I picked up some groceries on the way home, had a snack and headed to netball, where I literally felt like I was dragging myself around the court. I did some more shopping on the way home and thankfully he helped with some dinner preparation. I’m really not that hungry now, but my partner likes to eat with me and probably wouldn’t like to eat it knowing I wasn’t going to sit with him, so I’ve made myself something small. He just really wanted to have potato bake and steak, so I’m making him potato bake with half sweet potato, a steak with cooked onion and fresh tomato, while I have a warm veggie salad. He made us some bruschetta earlier which was really nice. I must say, I am lucky he likes to get involved, and it was so nice to have dinner cooked for me last night.
Sometimes no matter how motivated I get, I still can’t muster the energy I need. I’m just exhausted and tired today. My job is tiring but I just wish I was more productive. I find lately I’m cooking dinner later in the evenings than I would like to, maybe in order to get to bed earlier I need to get to the gym before work instead of after. Funnily enough though there’s always time for a little yoga before bed time.
In times when I’ve needed to keep going, I’ve had little trouble, I’ve stayed up for 48hours when there was a death in the family and I had come off night duty. Or when I’ve had to do a double shift! But for some reason tonight I don’t feel like I could stay up all night, not at home with my big bed calling me.
Makes me wonder, is “tired” just merely a state of mind? And once we’re there it’s hard to shake it off.