Tomorrow is my last day at work for 7 days and 8 shifts including my over time night duty last week. I know it will all be worthwhile, plus last pay period I traded in my rostered day off and the week before I also did an over time shift. I must admit though that although I give everyone everything I have, I’m not always so generous at home.
I find that after work, or making the time for family or friends I’m not the most pleasant and patient person at home. I get annoyed the second I walk in the door when I find things are out of place, there are dishes in the sink (a full sink worth) after I’ve done the dishes the night before just before I went to bed. The washing has been left in the machine wet, sometimes for days at a time, the bed hasn’t been made, the bathroom is a mess or just general clutter all around the house. Sometimes after work, when I come home I just need a clean environment, and sometimes I go to certain measures to ensure the environment I want when I get home in the afternoon. The last thing I want to do after a long busy day at work is come home and clean up, sometimes I feel like that’s all I do. This is the primary reason I get behind with things, behind with housework, laundry, dishes, and letting my cooking go. Sometimes when I come home I would rather not have dinner at the thought of washing the dishes just to have something clean to prepare dinner with, then cook dinner and then wash the dishes all over again. Sometimes it feels like a tug-of-war, sometimes I feel bad and other times I’m just annoyed I’ve been left to feel bad.
I’m not quite sure I’m 100% justified in taking the blame, but I do know that I’m so exhausted at the moment from work alone. I had a great 4 days off recently, but I really need to start making that a regular occurrence. If nothing else, it’s a chance to regroup, catch up around the house and catch up on my mental health.
The good news is not my partner will be commencing his course he will be out of the house Monday to Friday during the day, and that means I get to have the house for me. I can relax, and do my own thing. I know it doesn’t sound like much, but I’m really looking forward to having the house to myself. I figure this can be my time for a while until I get on top of things.
I used to do this regularly, use this time for sewing, cooking, whatever interested me. But, somewhere along the line I’ve lost this part of my routine and now it’s time to get it back. This week I plan to keep working on my crocheting, and lounging around watching tv can’t be that bad. Probably not even a bad idea to get out and get some vitamin D. This might sound unusual but I’ve even considered making a list of all the things I think of during the week that I wouldn’t mind doing on my time off, not that I have to do it all this week or even next week. But if I find myself with a few days off in a row I have a reference if I can’t think of anything enjoyable, which was my problem when I first started this job. I was so used to working everyday in my previous job that I didn’t know what to do with my spare time, then I started catching up on housework and meal planning, I would spend all day cooking for the week ahead and before I knew it my day was over. Now I’m just starting to appreciate my time off again, and finding a few projects I’m interested in, so it’s time to harness it.
I’m practicing yoga during the week after work, and that’s really helping me wind down and relax. Time to get everything else into order. Including my patience and mood at home, and I think I’m making a good start with that by taking the time for me. Although relationships are important and they take work and the time together, but I think we all need some time out for ourselves sometimes. Maybe even take your holidays from work and plan some relaxation, whatever that might be.