I’ve had an interesting couple of days this week. Busy at work, out last night with the girls from my netball team (whom I also work with), which led to me staying with one over night since I wasn’t fit for driving home.
It’s been a while since I have been out with friends, and I only ever really drink with my brother and his best friend, usually. But, I decided to step outside my comfort zone and bond with my co-workers/team mates. I think we all learned a little something about each other last night, and some a little worse for wear this morning. But, we all agreed it was a great night and we should definitely do it again.
It made me realise I miss having friends around, people I can call at the last minute to come shopping with me, meet me for coffee or just have a chat. I do have friends I can have a chat with, but we seem to pass each other’s availabilities, they either have family commitments, study or work, while I have work and that’s all. I sometimes wonder if they think I’m just a lazy friend, slack or just don’t care, when really it’s the complete opposite. I have a long distance to just “pop in”, but I would love to set something up where I can meet up with them on a regular occasion, like fortnightly. It’s something I’m working on at the moment, I envy those who have great friendships with people who live close by, and I haven’t really developed that in my workplace, and I don’t really know anyone who lives near me.
I guess I just miss my friends and I just enjoyed the company last night, and getting the chance to let my hair down for a night, which doesn’t happen all that often. I work full time and at the end of my work week I usually end up coming home and just hanging out around the house, with the only socialisation being with my partner, but a girl needs her girl friends too and that’s something I haven’t really worked on since starting this job. And, the only person who gets it is the only friend I have been seeing lately, and as it is I think I’ve only seen her a handful of times in the last 9 months.
I can’t help but wonder… What do we bring to the table that makes each others company so valuable, I mean compared with anyone else? Sure we probably have “in-jokes” and experiences we’ve shared, but what makes it so comforting to be around them? I think it’s something we’ve learned over time, we’ve learnt what kind of person they are, and we’ve shared our pain and generally learnt to be ourselves. If they can tolerate us as ourselves, and us them, then I think that’s really the secret. However, in order to get to this point what we really need is to invest the time, break down the barrier of embarrassment, be who we are, because they will love or hate us for it and only time will prevent that from happening. So talk, laugh, reminisce, cry and not necessarily in that order, but that is the bonding process, that is how we mould our relationships.
If our relationships and friendships are dictated by our personality, do we really have a choice in who our friends are? By simply meeting them we will either click or clash, but if we never cross each others paths we’ll never provide each other the opportunities to find out. And, there will always be that person you miss when they are away, or that you can’t stand, and the ones you want to be around because they inspire and motivate you. Surrounding ourselves by the right people can be good for our mental health.