I haven’t posted for a while, I’ve had a lot of things going on lately, not sure I truly want to share at this point but I am going through a few changes at the moment.
I’ve had finally had a chance to spend some time with just me, and some friends and my family lately, it’s been awesome. I realised I forgot what it was like to socialise outside of home and work.
I swapped my way out of work last weekend and this “week” I had to work 9 days straight. I’m almost at the end of it, but I really think I’m starting to appreciate my time off, and I’m really really looking forward to my holiday coming up. There are some girls at work who tend to take lots and lots of holidays, and I’m starting to see the value in not hoarding my holidays for a rainy day. After all I’ve been wondering what is the point of saving things all your life and barely managing through life waiting for a rainy day? Why don’t we just make the most of it now?
I know there’s this whole YOLO thing going on at the moment with teenagers and young adults, and I don’t know if I really fit into that “young adult” group at the moment, but I’m really starting to understand why they do it. I’m almost 30, and what do I have to show for it? I pay my rent, I pay my bills, occasionally I go shopping and I have a kitchen full of appliances and utensils. I have a few odd hobbies I’ve commenced, I have the blog which is a little half-hearted lately, but what have I really committed to? Where am I going? And, are my feet really planted on the ground? But, how do you know?
I guess you just have to wonder about where you’re going from time to time, especially when you think you might not be where you should be, or where you want to be. But, how do you know where that should be?
I remember making a statement and a promise to myself this year, at the start of this year. I recognised it was time to make some changes, I knew this would be a year of change but at the moment I’m starting to think the change is not going in the direction I thought it was going, but maybe that was the way it was meant to be? Without digging into too much philosophy I doubt we can really know, but I guess as much as anyone from any background will agree you have to believe in something, even if it’s having faith in your own decision making and learning from your past mistakes. But, sometimes it’s not so easy, we get tempted by greed, by opportunity and when we’re off guard. I guess my question is whatever choices we make, are they truly mistakes, or are they just a part of our journey we had to make, part of our growth?
I know I’m a little confused at the moment, I’m trying to figure out what I want and where I’m meant to be going, but I need to touch the floor. I need to find some foundations, I need to create myself some stability to build upon I think.
When change walks into your life, mixes things up and leaves your feeling topsy turvy, even if you like change, I think you still need to find some medium ground. To some point it’s nice to have some stability.