I have so many thoughts going around in my head at the moment. When a relationship breaks down we need a chance to talk about it, when it’s a romantic relationship we get plenty of opportunities, everyone wants to know what happened and what went wrong. Everyone will take your side and you find out what your friends and family really thought about your partner.
I was having a chat with a friend last night and we were talking about all our failed relationships, not just romantic ones but friends, and what those relationships had done to us and more so what we learned from them. She believes there is no “wasted time”, and I was thinking about that and about how much we actually learn from them. Either something about ourselves, about relationships/life in general or about that person. We also talked about being broken, I believe everyone has been broken in their lives in some way or another, and that feeling is relative to each person, based on their own experiences. What I consider to be devastating might be nothing compared to someone who has had several or more severe devastation, plus I guess you have to take into consideration the idea that something which means a great deal to me may not hold so much importance for someone else.
So this got me thinking about us all. We’re all like a terracotta pot, each pot has been broken under different circumstances, handled with care and carefully repaired. However the repair isn’t perfect, it’s left remnants of the damage done previously, you can see the cracks where the pieces have been put back together, and all of our pots have differing cracks as the damage was different in every instance. And sometimes we don’t get broken just the once, sometimes we fall again and the places of weakness are re-opened. We all have some physical and some emotional wear and tear, it makes us all individuals, it makes us unique and can mould the person we become. Our pots tell our story, but we choose to only reveal these imperfections to the people we care about and trust, and this is how we become closer.
I would like to believe everything happens for a reason, and that reason for our horrible and sometimes tragic experiences are then worthwhile, that we’ve learned something from them or we’ve grown as a result. If nothing else, I would like to think those experiences are designed to make us stronger and teach us to pick ourselves up when there’s no one there to do it for us. However this idea does make me wonder about the people who experience more misfortune than the rest of us, maybe we are being prepared for something else later in life, or we’re learning some coping strategies.
I don’t have the answers, I just wanted to share that experience I had last night. It was lovely to share something so personal with an awesome friend, we’ve both had to pick ourselves up and I think we’ve both learned so much from our past. It’s amazing how two people with such different personality traits and sometimes differing views of the world can share similar experiences. Sometimes it’s nice to just sit with a cup of coffee to share and talk about something real!