I’m still reading my book “the resolution for women”. It’s been an interesting read, I’m not half way through yet, but keeping in mind I’m actually in the middle of reading several books depending on the circumstances when I’m reading depends on which one I continue with at the time.
So this book was looking at who we are, not just to other people but also to ourselves, and how even the most popular and best looking celebrities still have low self-esteem. I must admit I know this is an issue even for the most confident looking people, but I was surprised the author of the book didn’t realise this. We are always up in arms about the bad influences of skinny models, anorexic movie stars and singers and the way that we have recently discovered these images are edited… To make the public believe these people really are these images of impossibly shaped bodies. We worry about the effect it has on young girls and women, but do we ever stop to think about the effect this also has on the person in the picture?
I’m not down playing the effects on young women and girls, I know this has a large effect on them as they look around to choose a role model. But, who’s responsibility is this? Are we blaming the person in the picture, the people editing and publishing the images or society for having these images available for these girls and women to see? Lets face it, we hide away porn because it’s inappropriate for children to see, but what about music videos these days and magazine images? Why is it acceptable to promote these images?
I guess the obvious answer is to question why would people put themselves in those situations? But I think we fill a place there is a market for. Plus there has always been issues with body image, and for some reason skinny is what people are aiming to achieve, but the thing we seem to miss is that these women are not healthy, and therefore they are not producing a healthy body image. In the past it was having a curvy body because it was a sign of wealth, now we aim to have a skinnier body… As a symbol of our abilities in self control? Having said that why is there nothing in the media about the body images of the models in these images? Instead they take the negative side, and slam them for being too skinny, while they would edit an image to make someone appear skinnier in an instant. How contradictory!
I guess the issue I am attempting to raise here is around promoting a healthy body image and to draw attention to the fact that the women who are creating this unhealthy image are the same ones we look up to, who ultimately have been lead by the same kinds of role models who also have body image issues. When you think about it none of us can walk around in confidence. I have a friend who always seems to be at ease in social situations where I crumble and I often get anxious when meeting new people or with people who I feel are superior to me (even sometimes when they are not – either by rank or social standing). I remember saying to her that I didn’t know how she met new people and was about to talk to complete strangers, her response was a shock to me. She said she didn’t have all the confidence she appeared to have, but it’s not about how you feel, it’s about how you appear to feel or act. To me that was revolutionary! I guess it’s something we all need to hear from time to time.
You don’t have to look like the image we believe has the highest esteem, because they are what we all strive to be, you just have to act and believe you’re happy in your own skin. It’s so simple! Just be happy! But the catch 22 is that it’s not that simple. We all feel so inadequate, we all feel like no one would ever look up to us and it’s such a shock when someone says they do. This is why I’m reading this book. I believe we should all learn to appreciate we are who we are, we are all designed in a certain way, that’s why we all have very individual personalities. In order to have any real happiness in life I believe we need to let go of certain things; like things – we need to learn to minimise our possessions, they will never make us happy, we also need to learn to let go of some image we imagine our life will be like because it will never truly be what we plan it to be, stop looking forward to something you want to become and start enjoying the journey wherever it is you will end up. At the end of the journey you will leave this world with exactly what you were brought into it with. Nothing! Stop looking at other people and envying their lifestyle, wishing you had kids sooner and enjoy your time without children until they come along, because then you will wish you could sleep in. Make the most of the little house you live in, make the most of the cheaper power bills and yard maintenance, because one day when you have earned it you will probably wish you had the simple days back. Isn’t that what we all do when we look back at our school days?
No matter where you are in life you will always see a bigger mountain and wish you were standing on top of it, instead turn around and look at all the mountains and hills behind you, remember each one you stood on top of. Remember where you’ve been, how far you’ve come and make the most of the one you stand upon now. We all set goals, and when we achieve them we look higher, but I feel like sometimes we are so busy looking up to the next goal that we forgot to take a look around us now and appreciate who we are and how far we’ve come. This all starts with appreciating ourselves first!
I guess the bottom line to this post is we just need to accept ourselves, appreciate what we have, who we are and what we have before we can judge others. Stop trying to be something else, and most importantly stop worrying about the judgement of others, after all they are probably too busy judging and analysing themselves to be worried about you.