I’m sure I post about this all the time, but I think it’s important to notice the little things.
When you have children (which I don’t), I assume it’s the little things they say, the mannerisms, all the things that make them adorable, and all the things you’re grateful to have been there to see, and the future things you hope to never miss. I have these moments with the elderly in my job all the time too, I think it’s the innocent factor more than anything else, the things we’d never dream or hear someone saying or doing.
More than that, it’s about noticing when you’re having a “moment” with someone, and not finishing a text message, or reading a facebook comment, but dropping everything to be in that moment. Or you might lose it forever. It’s all those times people say we should make the most of all opportunities, because you just never know when you might see that person again.
I like experiences, I like to be outside on a warm day, I like to go for a run in the sunshine rather than go to the gym and simulate it. I like to talk to someone face to face over a coffee rather than to talk to them on the phone or by text. I like to cook something from scratch in my own kitchen rather than go out and buy it, in that case though it’s more about the feeling of accomplishment, which I also get from going outside for exercise. I like to reach out and hold my partner in our own home rather than call him from far away.
I guess we all have such busy lives these days, we always say we have no time to catch up with friends, see our families or even go out and do the things we enjoy. Yet we’ll spend every other day at work, coming home late and getting up earlier to get things started in the office sooner. It seems we’re so much more flexible with the commitments we complain about, and we can’t bend or shape the box a little to see the people or do the things we love. But, what are we going to do about it?
I am currently on holidays, I thought I would take the time off to spend some time with my partner (with my busy work roster we feel like we don’t spend enough time together), and I was hoping to catch up with some friends who are also nurses so we find it hard to get the same days off. But what has actually happened so far, I went away with my partner to visit family, which is fine and we’re back home again having someone stay with us for a few days and I feel like we haven’t really sit still. And, next week is my turn to catch up with people, except no one seems to be available which is tricky.
I guess my problem is I have all these high expectations, and I don’t know what I really want. I think I know what I want to do, but when it comes time no matter what I do I don’t feel like I’ve ever used my “me time” effectively. For instance, I say I would like to do some sewing, reading, play the keyboard, or get outside, but when I get there I don’t seem to get the gratification I was expecting to feel.
Today I decided to take a different approach, since I’m attempting to be more positive I’m reflecting on the good experiences. I got an opportunity to bond with my partners family while we were away, I had a better time than I thought I was going to have, and we’ve had some really good moments and spent some quality time together. The moments that are hidden in plain sight; our in-jokes, activities we’ve done together, things we’ve experienced and just moments that don’t really seem all that special but that we will remember.
I think all those moments with kids, and like my moments with people at work where I can have a joke and share with them, I think we all over look the little moments while we’re searching for the big ones. I believe it’s the little ones that have the greatest impact, we just need to know how to spot them, appreciate them and remember them fondly. Living in the moment rather than wondering what’s coming next. Whatever is coming next will come while we’re busy with something else or sitting around in anticipation waiting for it, life is what we make it, so we should stop setting up outlandish expectations and start appreciating the things we overlook.