So there’s a new study out there about facebook contributing to depression, that it makes us feel worse after we’ve been using it and when we’ve been using it excessively, but the reason is to do with us constantly measuring ourselves up to others and measuring ourselves by their images.
Taking this approach to life can be seen as unhealthy but it depends on you use it. I like to surround myself with people who make me want to be a better person, not because they have a baby and I want a baby, or because they seem to have everything I wish I could have, these things are all circumstantial and must be earned in life. I like to surround myself with people have a great attitude and who motivate me. Usually it’s around cooking and yoga, but what we need to do is figure out who we are and what we want to be before we compare ourselves to others.
You need to know what you enjoy, what kind of people you want to surround yourself with, what you like to do with your spare time, your hobbies and what you want out of life whether it be travelling, family or career or all of the above. What drives you? We can’t expect to be the same as other people, and believe me I have compared myself to other people, I have compared my progress to theirs and that’s what gets me down. So I decided to figure out what I want and set myself some goals, if you’re not happy what will make you happy, just do what feels good for you.
I made a post recently about my new goals, they were simple and to the point, and most of all achievable. I want to feel good in myself and be happy, so I made a few goals:
- Eat real food
- Make time for my friends and family
- Get outside
I think they were worded a little differently than that, but since then I have committed more strongly to yoga, I’ve been to the gym, I’ve been cooking and eating better, and I’ve been catching up with my friends. In the past I always said I had no time to see anyone, but I’d find on my days off I didn’t know what to do with my time, so I started to plan ahead. I plan my yoga sessions, I plan trips to the gym with my partner, we plan meals for the week and I try to catch up with someone at least once a fortnight, which doesn’t sound like much but sometimes it’s hard to coordinate schedules.
I think what facebook should be is a place to share with other people, where instead of judging ourselves we’re actually just happy for each other, we need to take a whole new perspective on it. These days I feel like so many people are competitive and comparing themselves to others, and while it’s good to have goals and see things you like, what are you going to do about that? If you have a “friend” on facebook with a baby and a new house, and those are the things you wanted for yourself, rather than feeling down about it, what are you plans?
I like to follow a few yoga “public figures” on facebook because they motivate me to expand my practise, they post videos that I often watch and think I’d like to work towards that. I’m not comparing myself to them, but I am using it as motivation.
As far as “facebook friends” are concerned I figure ever adding someone you don’t really like just be to civil is only ever going to end with you feeling negativity towards them when they are seemingly getting ahead and you aren’t, and if that’s a circumstance where you can’t be happy for them, just stop following their feeds.
In relation to facebook, do what makes you happy, be happy for people, and surround yourself with motivation not envy. More than that, actually socialise with people, use facebook to set up face to face contact, get some friends together for coffee, or go to the gym or a walk. Have a catch up once a week or once a fortnight.