Is Change or Challenge an Excuse for Being Restless & Having No Direction? Or Do I Just Need to Grow Up & Be an Adult?

How do you know when you’re in the right place at work?

I don’t know about other people but I like to love my job.  My partner is the same as far as I can tell, he found he didn’t like his job so he’s back to uni to do something he’s going to enjoy.  I know some people who don’t want to work, but instead would like to achieve a position where they could just work at hobbies and not go to work – hobbies that are expensive like renovation…  I tell them I would always want to work, I need to feel a sense of accomplishment, which granted doesn’t have to be something achieved at work but I need to know I’ve earned it, and I know that because someone else has judged it I guess.  And yes, you can join a group where you get awarded for hard work, you can enter craft competitions or feel a sense of accomplishment by selling something you’ve created.  But I need to feel I’m growing, I don’t ever think I will be content to resign to just being.  Plus wouldn’t “retiring” from your job to do renovations be almost like changing jobs, you’re still working, possibly making a profit still and doing something you love.  Is that not just another career move?  And does it not mean that you just don’t enjoy your job as much as if you were doing something else?

I don’t know if that’s a personality flaw, or if one day that will become a problem for me psychologically.  I have a problem sitting still, when I have a day off I clean up the house, when I have two days off I don’t know what to do with myself, unless I can go shopping or hang out with friends.  And let’s face it, you can’t retire and just go shopping and hang out with people everyday.  You need to find a way to be on your own in your own space.  Sure I can do that, but I would watch tv while I use the computer, or cook, sew, or read, but I will never be content just doing things.

I saw a snippet tonight on facebook of an interview with David Bowie where he said “if you feel safe in the area you’re working in, you’re not working in the right area”.  I can’t believe how much that statement spoke to me.  He went on to explain that amazing things happen when you’re in so deep you’re feet barely touch the ground.  I realised how true this is, it’s only when we feel like we’re out of our depth that we are growing, developing and learning.  As a nurse that’s something I am doing all the time, but I feel when I’m comfortable it’s time to move on.  I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or just indicates I don’t know what I want.

I don’t understand why people can settle.  I am always going to want more.  I love change, and I get bored.  I guess being a nurse leads to so many options, but is that our problem?  Do we have so much trouble making a decision because we have so many options?  The divorce rate these days is so high because it’s now acceptable, where as once upon a time it wasn’t.  People chop and change jobs all the time, and occupations because they hate their jobs, whereas once you got a job and you did it because it was respectable and paid well.  Friend or foe?

I like to be challenged!  I am constantly told I am too busy, and when I’m not I seem to somehow fill it up.  When I work afternoon shifts, I make plans to study and get to the gym and cook all before 1pm so I can get ready for work.  I was unhappy in my job last year, so my partner and I moved closer to the city and I took a job there still full time, but a calmer workload (most of the time).  Yet here I am taking extra shifts in my old job as a casual. We moved to make things better, but now I work 90hrs a fortnight (which I know isn’t as bad as some), I’m studying a post graduate certificate, organising a wedding for later in the year and trying to fit exercise classes into my week, cook every night and maintain the house.  When you break it down a lot of people are probably busier than that, with children etc, but my point is we moved to make life easier and what I’ve actually done is just fill in all that time I had.  My brother is always asking me why I’m rushing around all the time, he runs at a relaxed speed, and so does my partner.  He says I shouldn’t rush because I won’t get there any quicker…  Now I’m having stressful sleeps, always having vivid dreams, and I’m still tired.

The funny thing is I tell my partner I would really like a couple of days to slow down, just hang out, read a book, go out for brunch and just take things slowly with nothing to rush for and no responsibilities…  So we’re planning a holiday for a few days in July!

He thinks I need a less stressful job, but I couldn’t do something slow paced and repetitive.  I need to feel challenged…  And after all, there’s always yoga to slow down a bit!

Link to the video.

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About myhousewifelifeblog

I am a nurse by trade, and a traditional "de facto" housewife by nature. Constantly seeking a more organised existence. I like to cook, sew and play my keyboard. I try to keep my house organised but I've not yet mastered this, and I am endeavouring to reach my image of ultimate organisation at home. I'm not sure if it's possible, but I'll give it a go.
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2 Responses to Is Change or Challenge an Excuse for Being Restless & Having No Direction? Or Do I Just Need to Grow Up & Be an Adult?

  1. scrappyyoga says:

    Not a personality flaw at all! I’m always involved in like five different things at once 🙂

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