I’ve gotten myself into a “poor me” rut. I really don’t have a great deal I can truly complain about, but I’ve just been a bit flat lately.
I guess some of it has to do with uni holidays, I don’t have any work to do and I’ve had to find something to do with my time now. At first I threw myself into exercise and overtime at work, then I ended up sick and all the wheels fell off because I was trying not to let my health alter my routine too much. I was at the gym, hot yoga classes and aerial yoga… Then the wheels fell off. Since then I haven’t done anything and I feel myself deflating. Even people I work with have started to notice. So today I decided to make a choice.
My parter woke me up this morning, which annoyed me at first, because I had so much trouble getting to sleep last night. But, I have come to realise that was actually a good thing for me, it made me get out of bed before lunch time, and be productive. I made him scrambled eggs and bacon on toast before he went off to his study group for uni (they have exams this week). Once he left I felt lost, I don’t make plans on the mornings before afternoon shifts because I struggle to balance things. At best I’ll plan to cook dinner or go to an exercise appointment (either yoga or the gym). I realised I didn’t know what to do with my time, and I have been beating myself up about missing so much time to exercise, which I ordinarily love, and which helps my mood. They say it releases endorphins, and I believe them, I really notice the difference.
I have come to realise I need to start doing something, getting organised, and getting my routine back. This week there will be no more sleeping in until 12pm, and I plan to get to the gym 3 times a week, I have aerial yoga, and I want to get to hot yoga twice. Sounds like a lot, but I get a great benefit from the mindfulness and stretches in yoga, but I need to keep my gym routine up or my partner won’t come. Also, I think if I over plan and get to 3 or 4 of those I’ll be happy.
I’m guessing this will go well for the next 5 weeks until uni goes back. But at the end of the day, you are a result of your actions. If you want something to change you just have to get up and do it for yourself. No one else can do it for you. You really are a product of what you do.