I must say I love writing, mostly just my own thoughts I guess, must be why I’m having so much trouble with my uni assignments. I have only 3 weeks left until my wedding (that’s why there haven’t been many posts lately). I have about 2 weeks to get my assessments done before the wedding and honeymoon. And it’s stressing me out.
It’s even harder now that we have spring beginning, it’s my favourite time of the year. I love the new flowers coming out, the new smells, and the warmth. It’s warm but not too warm yet. I love the BBQ’s in the backyard, I love how they get everyone together. Men cooking the meat and women cooking the sides and preparing the table for the main event, then we all sit around and relax and talk about whatever. Of course with a glass of wine nearby. I’m really hoping we can get a lot more BBQ’s and picnics this year. And now with 2 thermomix’s in hand sides should be even easier, coleslaw, salads, slices, desserts, dips. I feel like the options are endless. Easy to see why I’m so distracted from the issues at hand.
I have everything for the wedding organised, it’s uni I just can’t seem to focus on. I have been doing so much over time lately. At least one extra shift a fortnight, and 3 overtimes in one week just a few weeks ago. I am so tired at the moment, the only thing I have keeping me going is commitment I think. I always say you never know what you’re capable of until you’re placed in the situation, that’s why people can exhibit great strength both physically and emotionally. It’s how we learn to be patient, in order to be patient you must be placed in the circumstances that require it from you. I am getting 8hrs sleep every night (other than over time days), yet I wake up tired, exhausted and with huge bags under my eyes. I can’t focus on my uni work, and I find myself dragging my feet around the ward at work, but I keep reminding myself the uni semester is almost over and I will have 4 weeks holidays soon. How do you shut out all the noise and just focus on the here and now? How do you ignore the beautiful environment to read?
My strategy is simple. It’s time to take it outside, sit in the sunshine and soak up some vitamin D while reading and writing assignments. Take some time out for clearing the head. After struggling for weeks I’ve decided it’s time for some space for me, it’s time to get back to the gym and back to yoga which I haven’t been keeping up for some time. It might sound silly but exercise is like my mind’s time out, it gives me time to think, time to just be and gives me the opportunity to let everything go. I imagine it might have something to do with the breathing, or maybe just totally wearing myself out, kind of like going for a run to burn off energy when you’re frustrated or angry. I feel like it’s a physical thing I need to do. I feel fresh and clear afterwards, and I believe exercise and movement are good for our mental health.
For the next 3 weeks I have a plan to take this time out for me at least 3 times a week, after all you can’t drive a car with no fuel. I need to do something for me, to effect my surroundings. We need to enjoy ourselves, we need to do something selfish, just for us to validate our existence. Get out into the sunshine, go for a walk, sit in the warmth, or share a coffee with friends. I know I need to get my enjoyment back, it’s not healthy to race from one thing to another. That’s all I do lately, and we cram our lives so full we don’t have time for the things we enjoy, just the things we think we should do. I did the shopping, prepared food for the week and then raced off to work, came home to study, and then it’s time for bed… Only to get up tomorrow and do it all again, then on my days off friends and family consume my time (which is great), but what about the household? What about my space and things I need to do for me?
Time to plan for some balance.