It’s been a while since my last post. From memory I was probably stressing about wedding plans, but here I stand now as an official “housewife” I guess you could say. A lot has happened since then, we have signed our lives away as husband and wife, we went on our honeymoon (my first ever overseas holiday), and we have cleaned up our house and made it more liveable. My university semester is over now, I got all my work in 3 weeks early in time to get all the loose ends tied up for the wedding, and to relieve potential stress on our honeymoon by not getting assessments in on time since they were all due the day we departed Thailand and we arrived home the day after which would have been too late.
With all the stress of getting my course at uni finalised, getting through accreditation at work, getting the wedding organised and trying to sustain some kind of routine at home was getting harder and harder. I feel like this last year has left me feeling and acting really negatively. The problem with this is that it is starting to have an affect on me, my husband and my relationships with people and life in general, and yes during a time that I am meant to be in my “honeymoon” phase. We aren’t having issues or anything, this is just something I have come to notice, I am having sleeping issues, bad dreams, can’t always get to sleep so easily and I attribute that and my impatience (which isn’t usually a trait I would be described as) to stress. So as usual I’ve decided to be proactive and do something about it all.
Upon arriving home I decided I was sick of living in a house I hated to be in, it was time to clean up, tidy up and do some spring cleaning. We rearranged our spare room that I believe has always been a dumping zone, we’ve sorted through every last item in that room and ordered a bookcase that arrives tomorrow to get the piled up books a home. We cleaned up the rest of the house, making it feel cosy, homely and finally a place we both want to be in. I’ve decided to take this idea into other areas of my life also, I’ve started back at yoga, something I was missing for sometime due to uni and work commitments. I am continuing a pole dancing class I took up when there was no aerial yoga on that I could get to, which is great for strength and self esteem as it gives me a sense of accomplishment when I master another pose, despite the negative connotations I have since found out revolve around it. Pole dancing is actually quite hard, but I do find it is helping my yoga which I didn’t expect. These physical exercises are great benefits for me mentally, it works well to help me clear my head, I like to leave everything at the door and take that time for just me. There’s something to be said for being present, clearing your head and relaxing into discomfort… As strange as that seems if you haven’t been to yoga.
In addition to getting back to my old routine, and taking some time for the things I enjoy I have also starting reading for leisure again. Something I feel I only do in between semesters from uni. I have started reading a book called “15 Things You Should Give Up to Be Happy”. I found it in a bookshop in Singapore airport, and thought it might be something good to work on when I got home as it talks about letting go of the past, excuses, blaming, always being right, complaining, labels, and the need to impress others. While I know I have issues with where I’m at in my life, I can’t project that onto others any longer and I need to let it go for my own sanity. I guess I need to stop measuring myself up to other people, feeling disappointed in my bad decisions, and feeling sorry for myself for being about 10 years behind where I could have been if I’d had my priorities in check. It’s time to own it, and stow it. Stop living in the past, be in the present and use it to mould our future.
Time to start saving for a piece of Australia to call our own!
I plan to use this book to my advantage, I’ve decided to read one chapter per week, this seems relatively achievable, and gives me a week to work on each change I want to make. When I was losing weight I found one small change at a time was more achievable and sustainable, so this is the approach I’m planning to take with this, a kind of positive psychology.