As I continue my journey on the happiness project (for anyone reading this post who doesn’t know I am following “the happiness project” by Gretchen Rubin), I have actually finally finished the book, which is always a sad moment. But towards the end there was an interesting point she made about goals. Goals are something with a final date or time to them. Whereas a resolution is something you want to continue to maintain, like our new years resolutions we make each year, to lose weight, or save more money, aims for new habits I guess. That’s what this experience is like, I am being more mindful and reshaping my habits. I attribute this experience to being like my weight loss journey, you can’t make all the big changes at once, you have to break it down into smaller gradual changes.
So I’ve decided to call my new journey, “My happiness Resolution”. For now anyways, because I am following her project and I am revolving it around things that make me happy, and focusing on positive psychology.
After only a month and a half my husband already thinks he can some subtle changes. He said he thinks I am responding better to things, which is always a good sign. Yesterday we had a lovely day, we went to a street carnival, out to brunch and home again. The whole experience made me realise as part of this project or resolution that I need to make the most of some experiences. We say we love living in the city, or relatively close to the city but we don’t often take advantage of it. I said to him we should go in and do things more often, because although we dwell on buying a house a lot we will be giving this up when we finally get there, and we will regret not appreciating where we live right now. Apart from that I love the house we live in at the moment as much as I complain all the time about how small it is, it is cosy and has character and we’ve made it our own (as much as you can when you’re renting).
In the book Gretchen started a minute diary where she would write even one sentence, but I have commenced a diary to track my progress and my plans and goals. I was never a diary person, I tried to keep one as a kid on holidays, but it was something I felt I couldn’t maintain, and I felt silly just writing in it what I was thinking and what I was doing. However, for this process it has come in really handy, I have found it is giving me a sounding board, a place to write down my concerns so I don’t have to harass my husband with it, and I feel like a great weight has been lifted off my shoulders when I have gotten it on paper. I don’t know if journals are still a thing that people use, but it definitely has it’s place I have now realised, and it has really helped my month of letting go.
This process is having an effect on my home life already, it’s affecting my husband positively, due to changes in my own behaviour and I am making time for friends, and I am feeling more organised and “lighter” I guess you could say. Like I have less stress sitting on my shoulders with a new sounding board. I picked up some books on happiness yesterday that I am looking forward to having a look at, they talk about the science behind happiness, and I am contemplating reading the Dalai Lama book called “The Art of Happiness”.
My month of letting is turning out to be successful so far, and hoping to get back into some yoga this week so that will work well. In the meantime the part I really need to work on is getting some balance with uni, I feel like I’m spending all my spare time on uni work, and yesterday was the first time I let that go and went out without worrying about what I could have been getting done. We need down time too, and time to be social with our friends.