It is now the beginning of a new month, an in light of my happiness resolution it is time to implement the new plans. This month I had decided was going to be about under-reacting, but also about getting back to regular exercise as this aids my mental health. Last month I was working on “letting it go”, which to some degree I think I did ok with, I got back to yoga, I’ve started pole dancing at a new studio, and we have started weekly personal training. We got the house into some kind of an organised state, where my husband and I are working together, and so far with both of us putting in an effort it’s really working. He says I was getting better, but I feel it’s only the beginning.
Starting today I need to stop stressing out so much as an instant reaction, something I do a lot of, then when I’ve had time to sit and think about it, I realise it’s not so bad. It’s about that initial reaction, what I need is time to sit and relax, take some time out in my own head be mindful. I need to think more about the moment than worrying about what will happen tomorrow, I spend so much time thinking about the past I think I’m actually missing the present. For instance after having annual leave on my regular Saturday shifts I was stressing about what that will do to my income, so I’ve picked up overtime tonight. But, was it really necessary or was it just my stress head again?
I was reading a blog tonight about living a mediocre life. Which seemed somewhat of a negative tone, but made me think about the acceptance of not having some grand plan to look forward to, maybe we are missing it already. I spend so much of my time trying to make things better, I get frustrated and impatient when I feel we have had a set back. What if we just enjoyed the ride? If we under-reacted to the negatives and just took them in our stride.
What we have to figure out is what drives us? For me I think the biggest thing is stress, I worry about things I can’t control, things I can control and I try to go into damage control. I was once told that I will never be happy, no matter what I do because I don’t know what I want. But is that such a bad thing? Is that not half the fun? Making our own mistakes, through trial and error to get to where we will end up? This is getting very deep and meaningful now, but I often wonder if the process means more than the destination. Look at retirement, what do we have when we arrive there? Memories of the journey, a house we spend all of our working lives to pay for, and a family we may have spent a long time moulding. Retirement is a chance to slow down, to take the time to spend with our families, travel if that interests you and stop to smell the roses. However we can benefit from all of that now too. We can spend time with the ones we care about, we can travel and we can enjoy the memories as we create them.
My goal to start this weekend is about being more present, enjoy the moment, don’t worry about what might go wrong, but enjoy what goes right. Don’t go left go right! What will be, will be, and we can choose how we react. This month I also want to reflect more on the positives and the effects my resolutions are having as I try and compile them.
(Sorry for the lack of pictures, I’m at work tonight and my iPad requires more effort than I have the mental awareness for right now)