The best way to discover who you can really rely on is by experiencing adversity. I have a friend in hospital at the moment currently recovering from surgery, we’ve been in to visit, had an awesome time laughing and sharing stories, and just generally chatting like there’s nothing wrong. And it’s true, there is nothing wrong, we have a pretty decent relationship between the lot of us, but tonight I noticed how good it was to just be able to debrief about whatever we want, to talk about anything and know you won’t be judged.
Recently we’ve been looking at the relationships around us, there are people we know who judge us, people who always criticise us, and those who we know are always there for us, really there for us not just because they say it. Not that we are experiencing adversity but we recently realised we needed some assistance and a friend put his hand up without hesitation. Someone who is easy going doesn’t judge anyone and who accepts you as you are… It made me realise we need more people like this around us, a positive influence, people who we can hang out with and who will take as for who we are rather than what we feel they expect us to be. This got me to wondering, “who sets those expectations?” Do we set our expectations? Do we see someone else who appears to be successful and feel like we need to measure up to them.?
We have friends and acquaintances who are self-involved, who make us fee like we are an occasional convenience, who make us feel inadequate, who appear to judge us (as I mentioned), who find all of the negatives rather than supporting us, and then there are the ones who are just happy to be in our company. They are the ones we should be seeking out and spending out time with, but why is it we spend so much time trying to prove ourselves to the ones who see or make us feel all our faults? Why can’t we just allow ourselves to be happy?
In light of this new revelation, I have decided to resume my happiness resolution, as I have bought new books this week, once I finish this university semester, and focus on the things that make us comfortable, happy or at least content… Hanging out with friends who are our adopted extended family, reading a book, catch up on some sewing and just be present for a moment rather than rushing around.